Went out with tricia on friday after school. Watched harry potter at marina square, kinda boring. Then realised we had really poor time management and then rushed to taka to get our shirts. She bought the black, i bought the green and another yellow one. Then rushed home for tuition. Had gastric again during tuition, sorta okay after the chips.
Is there a change in me already? A few years ago i told myself not to get emotional at any point, staying as happy and joyful as possible. Maybe it's time i step down? It's really getting kinda difficult to do it now with so many things that are really making one depressing and stuff. i guess it's really impossible to not make one have any sad thoughts, being the person others may think "no matter what you do or say to that girl, she will just find another way to smile her way through". Sometimes what people doesnt seem to be wrong actually has the biggest problems, yet nobody knows. The 2 and a half year relationship we all shared seems to be getting further and further apart, till a point where we would hurt each other through those little words that doesnt seem to pose a threat. You may not see it but i can, seriously. the way we look at each other in the eyes, the way we speak to each other, it really makes alot of difference. Lip service is really shit, dont say and dont do it, it seriously sucks. I know the world is changing as every day passed, but cant the relationship we had in the past remain so sweet and dear in our hearts? Something that seems too easy to keep can be lost as easy as anything else. I dont want anything to change, really. But it seems that everything is changing, not to something better but actually worse. This feeling sucks, really.. I feel really guilty making that decision that time, but i cant go back into time and change this fact. I'm really sorry, hope it helps but i guess it's all up to you.. You knew it was difficult, really difficult to get it as someone has told you. If you think it isnt worth the wait, then just forget it. It isnt the first time, and i bet it wouldnt be my last. I guess i'm really a psychic, knowing what will really happen to me in the end. It's okay, cause i learnt to accept my fate. Every single little detail or word spoken can really tell a thousand emotions and feelings through it. I guess i'm right, time really proves everything. Once the right time comes, everything will just end off how a typical fairytale is suppose to end. There may be an exception, but hey, accept it. It may just be that one in a million, i may have missed it and so do you. Is it really true that if you dont give it a chance, you'll never know how it will end up? It isnt courage that i need, it's the thrust which really needs a long time for me to have, it all depends.. i guess it's because i can foresee how everything is going to end up and i dont want to face it? Everything means differently to an individual. It means alot to me if i make just that one wrong move, thats why i dont take chances. How well do you think you know me? Dont treat me like a toy, sometimes hot, sometimes cold. Through this period, it may seems fine but when the relationship changes, it may make everyone feel sick of it. Please think deeply, are you sure of your feelings? Guess what mums say are really true, everything will turn up totally opposite of how you wanted or expected it to be. Gosh, everything seems to be really emotional and depressing, but at least everything's out. Dont feel guilty after reading this, or even bother to read the above cause i guess it may not even matter. reflect and think through deeply, maybe you'll see it the way i do. The end..
x the ex 6/1 gathering to be successful & even happen.
x happy life.
x A CANDY MACHINE!!!(with candy inside of course)
x a brown N.U.M bag!
x a pair of shoes.
x eat durians right now..
x ipod nano mini.
x digital cam.
x nokia n73 music ed.
x netball spirit last forever..
x new sandals/slippers.
x adidas tuti fruti body spray(pink one)
x an end to all these emotional blows that come one after another.
x ROLLERBLADES.
x PSP SLIM
x sling bag.
x a big box for me to contain all the sweet lovely dovey things you people gave me. X)
x a box filled with gummies.
x that EEYORE, YES YES!
x JIGSAW PUZZLES!!
x THAT 1000piece mickey jigsaw puzzle(:
x grey jeans
x new wallet
x new pencilbox/case
x christmas presents!
x M&M's tee-shirt!
x IPA sandals
x HELL LOADS OF PUZZLES!
x vvian's op to be a huge success(:
x HOODIES!
x enlarged version of mickey
